请大家帮我看看这篇文章有什么语法错误和结构的不合理,打下分数,按考研的标准,2001年考研大作文 爱心是一盏灯Compared with bright place,love seems warmer and more significant in the darkness as a shining light

请大家帮我看看这篇文章有什么语法错误和结构的不合理,打下分数,按考研的标准,2001年考研大作文 爱心是一盏灯Compared with bright place,love seems warmer and more significant in the darkness as a shining light
请大家帮我看看这篇文章有什么语法错误和结构的不合理,打下分数,按考研的标准,
2001年考研大作文 爱心是一盏灯
Compared with bright place,love seems warmer and more significant in the darkness as a shining light with smile,in other words,the more difficulties there are,the more attentions there needs,this picture just conveys a currently eye-catching issue that social care still exactly tracks the emergence of the hard period,no matter if the commercial purpose is flooding our mind gradually.
As recently as 2009,the reports of WenChuan erthquake told uncountablely real events of the volunteers,soldiers and normal Chinese civilians who even dedicate their young lives.Moreover,the concerning about the sricken area is going on in the different cities of China and abroad,there is a telephone survey of 10 colledge students,more than 70% respondents said that they would like to spend a certain capital on monthly surviviors’ living support and reconstruction.
As a member of this plannet,it is our obligation to share our love to face such tragedies.Love is neither a slogan,nor any bussiness of reward,but real activity in daily life,only in this way,can human beings stay away from delimmas and keep developing.

请大家帮我看看这篇文章有什么语法错误和结构的不合理,打下分数,按考研的标准,2001年考研大作文 爱心是一盏灯Compared with bright place,love seems warmer and more significant in the darkness as a shining light
实在不愿泼凉水,但是这篇短文从各个角度读来都存在着不小的问题.我是个旅美30多年的老华侨,自认英语根基还挺不错,凭借着我对两种文化和语言的认识,勉强能够推敲出您想表达的意思.
单纯从英语文法、语法来分析,本篇文章的标点和断句是最需要改善的一个关键.主词不厘清,整个句子就难以读通,段落也无法分明.看似有三段(paragraph) 的文章,按照您的标点其实只有四句(sentences).句子越长,越难让读者了解你的意思.
词汇的选择也有商榷的必要.此外,还要注意单字的拼法,我找到拼写错误的就有7个.
我不是很清楚考研的客观标准为何,但是我会建议您重新再改写一次.