剑8 test4 ,小作文,我这样写几分,到底应该怎么样比较内容阿?According to the graph,goods transported in UK between 1974 and 2002 were by four types of transportation.This graph illustrates obviously that transportation through road

剑8 test4 ,小作文,我这样写几分,到底应该怎么样比较内容阿?According to the graph,goods transported in UK between 1974 and 2002 were by four types of transportation.This graph illustrates obviously that transportation through road
剑8 test4 ,小作文,我这样写几分,到底应该怎么样比较内容阿?
According to the graph,goods transported in UK between 1974 and 2002 were by four types of transportation.
This graph illustrates obviously that transportation through road is the major transportation of goods in UK and pipeline transportation,oppositely,is utilized the least.
As can be seen from the graph,two curves of water transportation and rail transportation show the fluctuation of increase and decrease separately.Although between 1974 and 1978,by water and by rail was about 40 million tonnes,over the period from 1978 to 1998,two curves diverged.Water transportation increased slightly while rail transportation reduced dramatically.However,those 2 curves finally grow,water transportation climbed more slightly than rail transportation did.
In the year between 1974 to 2002,road transportation sharply want up to about 100 million tonnes.Different from other three transportation,pipeline growed and it increased year by year.Between 1994 to 2002,the amount of product transported by pipeline remained steady at about 20 million tonnes.
麻烦我这几分?

剑8 test4 ,小作文,我这样写几分,到底应该怎么样比较内容阿?According to the graph,goods transported in UK between 1974 and 2002 were by four types of transportation.This graph illustrates obviously that transportation through road
恩,首先你的单词量只有159,规定写150个,最好还是多个二十几个的比较好,你这个字数比较危险,考官不会一个个给你数的,你看起来比较少,可能就OVER了哦.
再来,你的开头,就有比较低级的错误,比如,UK,是the uk,或者你写the united kingdom,反正都要加THE.这个问题出现了两次.
其他的细小语法错误都没有,单词拼写错误也没有.
还有后面的curves finally grow,这个grow 时态不对的,而且还不如用went up比较native,不想和后面的重复也可以用其他的,反正grow但用于末尾很奇怪的.
而且你的开头结尾有问题,你的开头,改写题目,怪怪的,你自己也能感觉到,改成 this line chart illustrates the quantifies/numbers/amount of products/commodities transported by four different types of transportation(namely/viz/i.e.road,water,railway and pipeline) in the united kingdom from 1974 to 2002.
而你最后一段不能继续描述内容了,而是应该做出总结,也就是你在这个基础上应该再写一段,具体点出——在英国,公路运输最受欢迎,而选择水路和管道运输的人也日益增多,而铁路运输的状况一直没有大变化,意味着人们也没有对它变得感兴趣.
有了这个,这篇文章才算完整的.
我估计,如果考官觉得你字数完整,虽然没有总结,但是运用各种词汇和变化性的句式,会给你6分,但是如果考官没有数字数,觉得你内容不完整字数不够,会给你5.5分.
我是个喜欢实话实说的人,其实LZ你的作文功底还不错的,加油吧,相信你一定能改善的,
from:一个同样在为了考试煎熬的烤鸭.

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詹天佑是我国杰出的爱国工程师