能帮我检查这封英文邮件的措辞和格式有没错误吗?Dear Tom,Thank you for your e-mail.I am the China International Petroleum Conference minister group’s liaison,this conference will star from November 23 to November 26,2013 held in

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能帮我检查这封英文邮件的措辞和格式有没错误吗?Dear Tom,Thank you for your e-mail.I am the China International Petroleum Conference minister group’s liaison,this conference will star from November 23 to November 26,2013 held in

能帮我检查这封英文邮件的措辞和格式有没错误吗?Dear Tom,Thank you for your e-mail.I am the China International Petroleum Conference minister group’s liaison,this conference will star from November 23 to November 26,2013 held in
能帮我检查这封英文邮件的措辞和格式有没错误吗?
Dear Tom,
Thank you for your e-mail.
I am the China International Petroleum Conference minister group’s liaison,this conference will star from November 23 to November 26,2013 held in Xiamen.I am glad to hear that Minister Dong will meet with your country's mining minister Mr.Allen.We are arranging a time for the meeting,after that we will notify you at the first time.
Best Wishes
正式点的！

能帮我检查这封英文邮件的措辞和格式有没错误吗?Dear Tom,Thank you for your e-mail.I am the China International Petroleum Conference minister group’s liaison,this conference will star from November 23 to November 26,2013 held in
总体上不错,都写清楚了.但我还是想给你改一下：
Dear Tom
Thank you for your email.
I am xxx,（要把你的名字写一下)the liaison for the Minister Group of China International Petroleum Conference,which will be held in Xiamen from November 23 to November 26,2013.I am gald to hear that Minister Dong will meet Mr.Allen,the Mining Minister of your country.We are now arranging the time for the meeting.We will keep you informed as soon as we have any update.Thank you!
Best wishes
xxx
已经很正式了.

1、this conference will star from November 23 to November 26, 2013 held in Xiamen.
改为 this conference will be held from November 23 to November 26, 2013 in Xiamen.
2、mining minister应该大写
3、...

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1、this conference will star from November 23 to November 26, 2013 held in Xiamen.
改为 this conference will be held from November 23 to November 26, 2013 in Xiamen.
2、mining minister应该大写
3、We are arranging a proper time for the meeting, after that we will inform you promptly.

个人意见，希望能帮到你，谢谢

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