请帮我修改一下雅思作文The issue is talking about which cases play an impotant role in determining the individual's personality,is genetic factors or environment influence?at present,with the science and technology ever-accelerating,a multi

请帮我修改一下雅思作文The issue is talking about which cases play an impotant role in determining the individual's personality,is genetic factors or environment influence?at present,with the science and technology ever-accelerating,a multi
请帮我修改一下雅思作文
The issue is talking about which cases play an impotant role in determining the individual's personality,is genetic factors or environment influence?at present,with the science and technology ever-accelerating,a multitude of experiments have been proved the gene inherited from our parents make a difference during the process of person growth.therefore,leading to people in growing number are apt to recognize the reliability of genetic science
Nevertheless,anything is not absolute.the news about wolf-kids or bear-kids,which almost have been well known by world as a whole.this baby was born by human,but not contain the basic character of human-beings,instead of wild animals fiercely behavior and living habit.it is well demonstrate that what is significance of surroundings for person's character,take account of experience we have in life is so unpredictable and powerful,thus it is difficult to give an conclusion for who is the primary element between of them
From my point of view,i do not believe that there existed with major influence during forming of character,to some extent,it is owing to the effect of integrate genetic science with social environment.finally,shape and constitute our present character.if it is not true,then we would be predicted the behavior and character of person from the moment they were born
In short,we should not ignore the impact of experience life.if you want to become a successful and great man,it is essential play the equality attach on both aspects
这作文能达到6分标准吗

请帮我修改一下雅思作文The issue is talking about which cases play an impotant role in determining the individual's personality,is genetic factors or environment influence?at present,with the science and technology ever-accelerating,a multi
is genetic factors or environment influence?
改为,Are they genetic factors,or environmental influence?
therefore,leading to people in growing number are apt to recognize the reliability of genetic science
我觉得这句话有问题,分不清主语了.
this baby was born by human,but not contain the basic character of human-beings,instead of wild animals fiercely behavior and living habit.
I think this sentence is totally wrong.
the human baby takes on the characters of animals,acting fiercely and behaving like a animal,instead of human.
其实楼主还有很多问题,语法上的,词汇上的.要是我是评卷老师,我觉得我不会给6分

多注意语法，你的语法错误有点多。is genetic factors or environment influence?这个is是要去掉的。有些句子里你包含了两个谓语。比如说a multitude of experiments have been proved the gene inherited from our parents make a difference during the proc...

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多注意语法，你的语法错误有点多。is genetic factors or environment influence?这个is是要去掉的。有些句子里你包含了两个谓语。比如说a multitude of experiments have been proved the gene inherited from our parents make a difference during the process of person growth.有个have,又有个make.
最后一段最后一句it is essential play the equality attach on both aspects 。还有个to 呢？
以上只挑了几处。要上6分的话，这些错误要减少才行。
还有这个句子the news about wolf-kids or bear-kids,which almost have been well known by world as a whole. 这个主语是the news,后面怎么就没有关于这个新闻的描述了。which后面引导的只相当于一个插入啊。

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考鸭论坛里面 有免费的雅思作文在线批改 你可以去看看 已经批改到第五期了